It certainly wasn’t the start of the year I was expecting; I went back to university single, had a ton of deadlines and finally started to enjoy myself properly. I might not have got my life together completely over Christmas, and I might still not have it together by the end of the Easter break, but I’ve certainly found myself looking at life in a different light. Now I know that all sounds rather deep and heavy, but it got me thinking about what I’ve learnt over the last few months, and then I thought: why not put it in a blog post and (maybe) let you know what I learn every few months about myself.
I’m okay with being on my own.
This might sound like quite a weird one, but for someone who had been in a long term relationship since they were 15 (yeah, I know) being ‘alone’ alone is quite a new thing. At the start it was quite strange, not having someone ready to talk to or tell about my day, but that was when I learnt who my real friends were. Strangely becoming single, which was my decision, has really helped my mental health, my friends have even commented that I’m different, less ‘robotic’ – thanks for that Newaj – but it’s certainly fair. I’m slowly but surely getting back to the optimistic me of yesteryear. I’ve actually found really solace in spending time on my own, playing around with makeup like I used to, binge watching Netflix or YouTube. There are definitely times where being alone isn’t what I want, but that’s where friends come in, I’ve been going out more, grabbing coffee and it has been lovely. So I’m okay with being on my own, I’ve learnt that since January and it’s refreshing.
University was the right choice for me.
If you asked me at the end of first year whether university was right for me, I really wasn’t sure. Ask me now and while you’ll hear me whinge about deadlines and word counts, the rest of it is pretty damn good. I played hockey last year, but it’s this year where I’ve really felt part of a team. Spending time with friends, even if that’s just at the library for a late night writing session has been great, even the night life – though currently I’m sat at home with ligament damage in my foot, it was a good night out! I’ve considered doing a masters before, but now I truly think it’s the right direction for me. University has got in the way of blogging, which doesn’t surprise me because I am technically a full time student, but I will get back on it over Easter because I love it.
It’s okay to put yourself first.
Now I’m not talking about putting myself first in situations that could be detrimental to relationships I hold, but more realising that I need to be okay to help others be okay. There’s been some heavy stuff going on at home and instead of stressing over it too much (though that has sometimes been unavoidable), I’ve taken a moment for myself and worked out how to fix the situation. Time on your own to assess the situation, or even just to be on your own, isn’t selfish, sometimes it’s necessary.
Now I know this wasn’t a long post, nor was it a particularly helpful one for anyone else. It wasn’t even informative of my current situation, but it felt good to write down and I can look back on it and see how far I’ve come since the start of the year, perhaps longer. Normal beauty related content will resume on Friday, don’t worry. I won’t stay with personal posts for too long, we all need a little light relief from life at times.